Punching Bag or Paycheck
by AA Battery
Summary: All his life, people had hit Ryan... why would he expect anything different from the Cohens? But when he runs away will he learn that they are different? PG13 for language. Please R&R! No flames, i just got wood furniture.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: unfortunately, I do not own any of the O.C. setting, characters, or anything else... [sob sob]  
  
Zack: Get over it.  
  
AA Battery: But Ryan and Seth are so hot.... If only...  
  
Zack: If only you would start writing!  
  
AA Battery: Fine!  
  
Chapter 1  
Escape  
  
'You had to go ruin it,' Ryan thought angrily at himself. He sat, staring out the window of Kirsten's car, wishing he could pound his head against the glass.  
  
He had had everything- food, a school, a roof, and people who at least pretended to car about him. He had to go burn down a house. Mentally, Ryan cursed himself- he's let his friendship with Seth and Marissa get in the way. After his mother had abandoned him, he'd promised not to let his defenses down. He'd failed. He had accepted Seth's open friendship, Marissa flirtations. Hell, he'd even fallen for the fake love Mr. and Mrs. Cohen offered.  
  
Here's where the pretending stopped and the hitting began. Ryan was trapped. Sandy had fed the false love and hope to Ryan and though it was a short period of time, Ryan had taken it. Sandy had the blonde teenager right where he wanted him. For deep down Ryan knew he could never bring himself to fight back against any of the Cohen's- like he at least attempted to do with A.J. or his mom's other boyfriends. They had been his temporary haven for too long.  
  
'And now- thanks to you- the happiness is gone. Stupid.'  
  
"Here we are," Kirsten announced, pulling into the driveway. Ryan sat motionless, trying not to let his surprise show- it was the Cohen's house. He'd thought for sure Sandy would meet them somewhere; they'd give him a few (or more) well placed punched and then be gone.  
  
'Maybe they won't do much in front of Seth,' he thought hopefully. 'Don't be an idiot- Seth won't be there all the time.'  
  
Carefully avoiding Kirsten's eyes, Ryan followed her into the house.  
  
"Hey, man, you're back!" Seth greeted him as they walked into the kitchen. "Wanna get creamed at Playstation?" Ryan gave his friend a tired smile- but Seth was already talking and walking towards the living room.  
  
"Ah, Ryan, you won't believe who made me explain the biology chapter to her!"  
  
"Summer," Ryan said, picking up a controller. Seth looked slightly taken back- but then continued.  
  
"Well, yeah- but you wouldn't believe some of the things I had to tell her0 she like didn't know any of the background or anything! Anyway afterwards-"  
  
Ryan smiled; only half listening as he let his Seth's banter ease worries of what Sandy and Kirsten would do to him once Seth was gone.  
  
Ryan swallowed hard as he heard Sandy enter the house.  
  
"Hey Seth- didn't I tell you that being grounded means no Playstation eith-"Sandy stopped as he spotted Ryan. Ryan looked down at his controller- trying not to let his fear show.  
  
"Oh," Sandy said, stepping out of the room. "Kirsten! Do you think you could explain something to me?"  
  
"Awesome!" Seth exclaimed. "He didn't even make us get off!"  
  
Ryan sighed- suddenly he didn't feel like playing anymore.  
  
"I'm kinda hungry- I'm gonna go get something to eat," he said, standing. Seth nodded, but Ryan was out of the room before he could say anything.  
  
Ryan walked into the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks as he heard Sandy and Kirsten arguing- about him.  
  
He listened, feeling a tiny bit guilty. Sandy was talking about giving him false hope or something. 'They're gonna put me in the system,' Ryan though angrily. 'Hit me up and put me in the system.'  
  
Ryan sighed and picked up his backpack, which held the few things he called his own. He walked out to the pool house- his anger building.  
  
All he'd ever been was either a punching bag or a paycheck. With his mother, he was a punching bag. He was just something she could take her booze- inflicted temper out on. Or something the boyfriends could play with- something they did a lot.  
  
When he'd been in the 'system,' before, he'd been a paycheck. No one really wanted the 13 boy. They wanted the cute 7 year old that would laugh and called them Mommy. They didn't care about him- just showed him to a room and left.  
  
Anger faded into fear- he wasn't going in the system again. But what could he do? He couldn't ask Sandy for help – that would just start the hitting faster.  
  
Running away seemed to be his only option. It wouldn't be that hard- all he had was his back pack and his bike.  
  
But what about Seth? Should he tell him? Last time he hadn't told him parents, he hadn't ragged Ryan out.  
  
'But he convinced you to stay,' another voice said. 'I'll leave him a note,' Ryan told himself. Ryan didn't bother to unpack- as soon as night came he would be gone.  
  
Seth looked up as Ryan walked back in from getting a snack.  
  
"Hey man what took you so long," he asked, as Ryan sat down again.  
  
"Put my stuff away," Ryan answered. Seth nodded.  
  
He was very happy Ryan was back. Ryan was the only true friend he had in......... well maybe his whole life. Ryan didn't care the he was obsessed with graphic novel. Or that the closest thing Seth came to a sport was skateboarding or sailing. Ryan didn't seem to mind Seth's constant chatter or the fact that Seth was the biggest outcast in Orange County.  
  
Also, Seth knew Ryan could hang out with "The Luke Crowd" if he really wanted. At the party, if Ryan had joined in with Luke and made fun of Seth- he would have been much more accepted. And if he had told them about Captain Oats- they would have loved him. Or he could have ignored the situation completely and saved his own skin. But he didn't- instead he'd challenged Luke for Seth.  
  
Of course both of them ended up getting thrashed- but that wasn't the point.  
  
"Seth! Ryan!" Kirsten called from the kitchen "Sandy brought home dinner!"  
  
Seth didn't fail to notice Ryan's flinch when his mother first called. He had also noticed Ryan's refusal to meet either of them in the eye. He frowned- he hoped everything was okay.  
  
Sandy had mixed emotions about the fact that Ryan was back. At first he'd been surprised- but once his wife had explained the situation- he could see her reasoning. But Kirsten was confusing him to say the least. First she brought him home- and then she insisted on giving him away.  
  
Sandy tried to catch Ryan's eye. Any moment now Kirsten was going to realize he wasn't eating and her mother instincts would kick in. But, Ryan was staring at his plate, refusing to look up.  
  
"Ryan," Kirsten said.  
  
'Ouch- too late,' Sandy thought. Ryan's eyes flicked to Kirsten. "You need to eat- pushing it around doesn't count."  
  
To Sandy's surprise, Ryan gave a barely audible, "Okay," and began to actually put food in his mouth.  
  
Sandy caught Kirsten's eye- Ryan never ate more than he wanted to. What was going on? His wife looked just as confused.  
  
'Do whatever they say,' Ryan thought as chewed the food without tasting it. 'Slow 'em down. Do whatever they say.' That was his plan of survival. Sometimes if he did whatever his mom told him to she wouldn't hit him too much. 'Do whatever they say.'  
  
Seth must've caught Ryan's discomfort because he quickly steered the conversation to a new Playstation game. Thank God for Seth. Dinner ended and Ryan hurried to the pool house.  
  
He had been lying on his bed, trying to think of where he was going to go when someone came in. Thinking it was Seth, Ryan sat up at ease.  
  
"Hey," Sandy said. Ryan bolted out of bed. Sandy appeared a little taken back with Ryan's sudden movement-but he chose not to comment. "We're watching a movie inside."  
  
A movie- Seth would be there, no problem.  
  
"Okay," he said quietly and followed Sandy into the main house  
  
The movie was okay, but Ryan was glad when it ended- he wanted to get out of there. Waiting until he was sure everyone was asleep, Ryan scribbled a not to Seth and disappeared into the night.  
  
Author's Note: Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)  
  
Author's Other Note: Umm... I hope you all liked it! Remember no flames please and uh... please review!! Anyway, thanks! The next chapter should be coming soon- it's already written... just not typed... ok well bye!! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own any of it... sigh......  
  
ANYway, I would like to thank everyone for reviewing- wow there's a lot of you! THANK YOU ALL!! The last time I had even close to this many reviews was... umm... A Slave for Too Long... gee. Anyway, unlike A Slave for Too Long, I can't promise anything if we get to hundred reviews, but I really love reviews so... thanks!  
  
Also, sorry about the timeline issue- this takes place directly after Kirsten brings home Ryan from juvie after the model house little fire. But, I have used my writer's license so Seth is at home when Ryan gets there- as you might have noticed.  
  
So, here is the next chapter. Also, I would like to warn you thank exams are coming up for me, so if the updates are a little slower, I beg forgiveness in advance on my knees (without knee pads on too) I promise I'll try to keep them coming- I'm gonna need breaks after all with all the studying!  
  
Ok, ok, I'll shut up and here it is!  
  
**Chapter 2  
Righteous Anger**  
  
The next morning, Seth had been given the chore of waking up Ryan. It wasn't a common chore- Ryan was usually up first- and it wasn't a hard one either. You just had to walk into the pool house and Ryan was up, holding his right arm over his face as if to block any blows aimed at him. He left hand clung to his sheets and his eyes would dart around wildly before he recognized Seth and visible relax.  
  
Seth had never read Ryan's file- but Ryan's reaction to some things and Sandy's warning hints were enough to let Seth know he new brother was had been abused.  
  
Seth walked into the pool house- surprised to see Ryan not in his bed. Was his Dad Wrong? Then Seth noticed something else- Ryan's old book bag was gone. He glanced around the room- the jacket was gone too.  
  
Dread seeped through him. He looked around again- looking for clues anything. There- a piece of paper- hand shaking slightly, Seth opened it and began to read.  
  
_Seth- I'm really sorry I had to leave you like this. You're a great friend and a great brother. I really appreciate everything you and your parents have done for me- but they want to put me back in the system. Sorry- but I'm not  
_  
Something was scribbled out here. Seth squinted. It looked like 'going to be.' Shaking his head, Seth continued to read.  
  
_But I'm not going into Foster care again. I'll really miss you. Maybe I'll call you sometime. Sorry.  
  
-Ryan  
_  
Seth sat on the bed (more fell) as different emotions ran through him. Could Ryan really be gone? No, but- why? Quickly he re-read the note. Hey- Ryan had said he would call- that was good. But- his parents were going to put him into Foster care!  
  
How could they? After he ran away last time? What were they thinking? Even Seth could see Ryan was very against Foster Care! His dad had been around kids like Ryan his whole career- shouldn't he know better? You can't keep bringing a kid into your house and then keep shoving them away!  
  
Seth left the pool house and stormed into the kitchen, intent on giving his parents a full- fledged lecture. But when he walked into the kitchen and saw them calmly drinking their coffee, anger made him speechless.  
  
For a second his stared at his parents- the two people who had planned to throw Ryan out- again. God, they were no better than Dawn.  
  
"How could you!" Seth finally got out. "You just- you were gonna- This is your fault!" With that, he slammed the note facedown on the counter and pounded his was up to his room.

...............................................................................................................................................  
  
Both Sandy and Kirsten stared at the note Seth had slammed in front of them. Seth had never shown this much anger before. Sure they had had their disagreements- but nothing like this. He had been speechless. Seth Cohen- speechless.  
  
Sandy was the first to react. He picked up the piece of paper and slowly read it. Wordlessly, he handed it to Kirsten. He watched as she began to read, his mind already racing.  
  
Seth was rights. It was their fault- they should've known better- he should've known better. So much for the Great Lawyer Sandy Who Knows So Much About How Kids Are Feeling. Anyone working in his department could've seen Ryan's dislike of the Foster Care idea. And he'd missed it- or ignored it.  
  
"Oh Sandy!" Kirsten cried. "He didn't! We should've known! Oh Sandy! Where's he staying! What if he's on the streets? Oh, I can't believe it!"  
  
Kirsten was now sobbing- Sandy enveloped her in a hug- worried about Ryan and dreaded his talk with Seth.  
  
**Author's Note**: Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)  
  
**Author's Other Note:** I'm **SO SORRY** that this is so short- but I have to study for my exam on Monday and I wanted to put something up. So I slip up this chapter- more soon I promise!!  
  
Please review! And I'm sorry again!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**- I still don't own anything... but I wish I did!!  
  
Did you guys here the bad news, for the next fall line-up, O.C. is 8 on Thursday, but so is Joey! I'm gonna watch O.C. and then probably buy the Joey seasons- if its good. Ok, so actually that's not that bad.  
  
Everyone I'm sorry about the looooong wait, but I was in Disney World and then came back to two days of exams! (I should be studying right now- don't tell my parental force) Ok, so this is shorter than usual because I really have to study- but I wanted to put something up!  
  
** Chapter 3  
**  
Seth couldn't believe it. Ryan ran away Sunday. All Monday his parents apologized at least 20 thousand times. Tuesday they left him alone. And now Wednesday they made him go to one of Caleb's Don't-You-Love-Money parties.  
  
Well he shouldn't really say 'they' more like his mom. His dad wasn't any happier about it than Seth. But he didn't say much in Seth's defense. Seth had watched them as they entered. His dad had this huge fake smile on, which made him look like his teeth hurt or something was seriously wrong with his jaw. His mom, however, must have already gotten her fake smile on in the car, because she at least looked semi-normal.  
  
Seth didn't try to look happy at all. Not that anyone noticed him at these things. Seth had been used to watching other people from a corner for most of his life. Seth sighed, thinking what he would be doing if Ryan were here and let his thoughts drift.  
  
He hadn't forgiven his parents- not really. All Monday he'd nodded- but he couldn't forgive. They should have known- and they hadn't even told Seth that they were going to take Ryan away. He'd had no family input, and neither did Ryan. It was like they were going to sneak him out at night and hope no one noticed.  
  
Seth shook his head slightly. He didn't feel like thinking about Ryan- he worried almost non-stop about where he was for the past three days. He focused his thoughts elsewhere.  
  
Summer. She was so graceful even doing the simple things like accepting a glass of water or accepting a dance with someone. Never him- but he could imagine.  
  
Summer wasn't at this party. So Seth had to watch other people. He leaned back in his chair and slowly looked for anyone that was doing anything the least bit interesting.  
  
Sandy was frustrated. He had been down to Chino and just driven around- looking for Ryan and found nothing. His mom's house was empty, looking no different than when Sandy last saw it. There was no sign of Ryan and they had to find him.  
  
'But if you found him- what would you say,' he thought to himself. Kirsten had still not agreed to bring him into the Cohen house for good- like Seth obviously wanted. So what would he say if they even found him- Hi we really love you and Seth has been depressed without you, so come on home, but we are gonna have to put you in Foster Care!  
  
Sandy sighed- that sounded stupid. Just like this party was stupid. Just like he was stupid.  
  
Kirsten didn't know why she was here. She had forced both the men in her family to come to this- why? Maybe she was trying to get things back to normal. She looked around. Yep, they were normal, Sandy was hiding in the bathroom and Seth was in an ignored corner of the room. And she was listening to everyone talking about money.  
  
She felt awful and knew that Seth didn't forgive either of them. She didn't really blame him. That's how she would feel. But at the same time- a stranger in their house? That was enough to make any mom nervous. But a juvenile delinquent stranger- she didn't think so.  
  
"Must be the best thing that ever happened to them," Kirsten heard Julie Cooper say from a few feet away.  
  
"What?" one of the other rich girls said to Julie.  
  
"The piece of trash they were housing got it through his dumb head that he will never be anything and took off." It took Kirsten a few seconds to figure out who they were talking about- Ryan. "I am thrilled- as I'm sure they must be- I feel so much safer- don't you?"  
  
All the ladies hasten to agree. Kirsten marched over there planning to put a stop to the latest idiocy.  
  
Julie saw her come over.  
  
"Oh, Kirsten, you must feel so relieved- now you don't even have to bother looking for a group home or whatever scum goes to!" Julie reached out to hug her in 'congratulations' but Kirsten pushed her away roughly.  
  
"Don't you DARE talk about Ryan that way, Julie Cooper! Because for your INFORMATION if- WHEN we get Ryan back- he'll be staying with US, so you will have to get used to being afraid- because he's not going ANYWHERE!" Fuming, Kirsten spun out of the room, conscious everyone was staring at her.  
  
She stood outside for a little, when someone came and tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"Did you mean it?" Kirsten spun around to see Seth.  
  
"Mean what?"  
  
"What you said about Ryan staying with us." Kirsten thought back over what she had just said.  
  
"Yes," she said gasping slightly. It amazed her how much she meant it. "Yes." She wanted Ryan with them.  
  
"Thanks," was all Seth said before he walked back into the room.  
  
Kirsten smiled. She never thought she'd thank God for Julie Cooper. But Julie's evil gossip had made Kirsten see how much she missed Ryan. Ryan- she wanted him back.  
  
Still smiling she whispered to her self. "Thank you Julie Cooper."  
  
Author's Note: Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)  
  
Author's Other Note: Umm... sorry again! I hoped you all liked- next chapter is written- just needs to be typed and the last day of exams is today. So updates should be faster! Please review!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I really, really want to own all of it, but I don't.... sob!  
  
Ok, guys please keep reviewing, cause we have been going slowly down hill with them. Ok, the next few (2 maybe) chapters are written so this should be fast... but then please don't flip out of there's a longer break because I have graduation next Thrusday and parties all Friday and you know the drill. But then Summer (no- not Seth's girlfriend) is here and I should be posting pretty quick. Anyway, thanks again and here goes!  
  
**Chapter 4**  
  
Ryan pulled his jacket closer to himself, trying to capture some of his own body warmth. Who would've thought California could get so cold at night. A part of him told himself it was only 9:00 and it wasn't that cold. Never the less, his teeth chattered as he shivered. He must be getting sick.  
  
Well, basically living off cigarettes for six days could do that to you. Six days. Six days since he had left the Cohen's.  
  
And he was still in California.  
  
He couldn't go to Texas- he'd discovered that on the 3rd days he was gone. He had tried- he gotten to the bus stop and then... well then... he couldn't. Texas had seemed so permanent. He'd been in the line to get on that bus and all he could think of was Seth and Marissa. And even Sandy and Kirsten. And he'd gotten out of line.  
  
Furious with himself, he'd pushed them all out of his head with the help of smoking. He had forgotten about them. Or tried to. He'd done okay at it.  
  
Until now. Ryan stood, staring at the pay phone- convincing himself the calling Seth was what he should do.  
  
'He'll be worried,' Ryan thought as he reached for the phone. 'I told him I'd call.' Moving before he gave his mind a chance to argue- he dialed the Cohen's number.  
  
A thought hit him as he heard the ring. What if Seth didn't answer? What if Sandy or Kirsten did? Too late now. Ryan coughed and hoped for the best.  
  
"Hello?" Ryan nearly sighed in relief- it was Seth.  
  
"Hey," Ryan said, wishing he sounded healthier.  
  
"Ryan?" Oh, great, Seth didn't even recognize him.  
  
"Yeah- umm......... I said I'd call so-"Seth stopped him.  
  
"Dude! Where are you- we've been worried sick. Mom and Dad said that you could stay-"Seth stopped as he heard Ryan cough violently.  
  
"Are you okay man?" Seth asked once Ryan stopped.  
  
"Fine," Ryan said his voice hoarse. Ryan was beginning to regret this phone call- he was suddenly very dizzy. "Look I have to go- I just wanted to tell you I'm okay."  
  
"No, wait- please," Seth said. Something in his voice made Ryan stop. "Can we meet somewhere- maybe go out for lunch?"  
  
Ryan sighed- the last thing he wanted was for Seth to see him like thins- but saying no would only convince Seth Ryan needed help.  
  
'Maybe you do,' the back of his mind told him. He shook his head to get the thought out. But, it brought another wave of sickness. He couldn't deal with this right now.  
  
"Sure, Seth," he said, fighting the urge to vomit. "There's a Mickey's down in Chino- meet me there tomorrow- 12:30?- alright."  
  
"Oh, ok, sure, see ya then," Seth said, surprised. Ryan gave a quick goodbye before hanging up. He clamped his mouth shut, hoping to keep his stomach from rebelling. No good. The little breakfast he'd had that day came rushing up.  
  
He wiped his mouth and blinked slowly.  
  
He never saw the fist that hit him.

* * *

Seth frowned as he got off the phone- worried. Ryan had sounded aweful- he'd barely recognized his voice. Also, it wasn't like Ryan to agree to anything so quickly. Pushing thoughts of Ryan's health out of his mind, Seth thought about the next problem. Should he tell his parents?  
  
Both Sandy and Kirsten had been in to talk to him even more after Wednesday. Sandy was calm, but quiet. Kirsten was calm in the beginning, but when she got to where Ryan might be now- she lost it. Both said they were sorry and continually reminded Seth that Ryan could stay at the Cohen's permanently.  
  
Seth had been happy with both announcements, but he was still mad. They hadn't talked to him or Ryan, just shipped him off. A part of him told him he was being ridiculous, but more of him was mad. He wasn't not ready to tell them Ryan had called- not yet. But, feeling much happier, he called for a family movie- something he hadn't done since Ryan left.

* * *

Sandy was suspicious. Seth had forced them to watching Superman- for the 100th time. During the movie he chatted about how this or that didn't agree with the comics or whatever else Seth Cohen talked about.  
  
Sandy wasn't really watching or listening.  
  
What would make Seth this happy? Sandy's thought immediately went to Ryan's half-promise to call in his note. Did Ryan call? No, Seth wasn't still that mad- was he? Seth probably thought they weren't worthy to know. After all, they had been going to throw Ryan out again. But he was staying with them now!  
  
After the movie, Sandy went up to Seth's room. He opened the door to Seth's room and found his son lying on his bed, holding a comic book with one hand, and a plastic horse with the other.  
  
"Seth, did Ryan call?" Sandy said bluntly, too sick of waiting to deal with the small talk.  
  
"Why do you wanna know- so you can throw him out again!" Seth said, looking up from his comic book. Sandy took a deep breath- he had had enough.  
  
"Look Seth, we made a mistake. A big mistake- but a mistake. Now, we've told we are sorry. If- when we get a chance to talk to Ryan we plan to apologize to him. But I need to know if called because it's important to us and to getting Ryan back here permanently."  
  
Seth was quiet for a while and Sandy didn't push him. Finally he spoke,  
  
"He didn't sound good, dad."  
  
"Did he say where he's been? Leave a phone number maybe?" Sandy asked anxiously.  
  
"No," Seth said. Sandy felt his hopes drop. "But we're meeting for lunch tomorrow."  
  
"TOMORROW!" Sandy roared. "Where? When? When did you plan on telling us?"  
  
"Umm... tomorrow," Seth said. Looking at his father's face he quickly continued. "We're meeting at a Mickey's in Chino. Know where that is?" Sandy frowned.  
  
"It's in the better part of Chino- but still! You were going to drive to Chino by yourself without telling anyone!"  
  
"I'm still going by myself," Seth said coolly. "You are the last person Ryan needs right now!"  
  
"You know what Ryan needs?"  
  
"More than you do!" Seth shot back. Sandy didn't show how much those words hurt him.  
  
"There is no way I'm letting you go to Chino-"  
  
"He's right," Kirsten said from the doorway. Sandy and Seth both looked at her, startled.  
  
"Ryan needs someone who has been with him from the beginning- Seth. He probably won't talk to us," her eyes started to water. "Tell him- tell him we're sorry, Seth!"  
  
"I will," Seth promised. Trying to lighten the mood he added, "Well, at least we know where I got my eavesdropping skills from!"

* * *

Author's Note: Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)'  
  
Author's Other Note: I hoped you all liked it- and remember reviews make me faster and happy!! And we all want to make little old Kt happy, right?  
  
Zack: No.  
  
AA Battery: ok, defeating the purpose here!  
  
Zack: So?  
  
AA Battery: O be quiet! Everyone PLEASE review!! 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** If I owned O.C., Theresa would have died in a car crash...... obviously I don't  
  
**Author's Note**: Sorry about the long wait- graduated- had parties- relatives from California and CT...... you know the drill... anyway, no more chit chat- on to the story!  
  
**Chapter 5**  
  
Ryan woke up slowly, keeping his eyes closed. He was on the ground- but not in a position he would go to sleep in. His left arm was twisted under his body- hurting even more than his head- which killed. He sighed and opened his eyes. Or tried to- the right one was swollen shut. He blinked until his vision was clear enough to make out the pole of the pay phone he'd been using.  
  
What had happened? He'd been talking to Seth- he had to go to lunch with him today. Oh right- some guys seeing an easy target (which he was, after just throwing up the tiny bit of food in his stomach) had attacked. He sat up slowly, groaning as very sore ribs protested. His used his right arm to lift up his shirt to see the obvious- boot shaped bruises covered his stomach and chest. He coughed harshly- sending more pain through his chest and a little blood from a cut on his lip to the sidewalk.  
  
Turning his head, he inspected his left arm. A long slash went from elbow to wrist, covered in dry blood and gravel. Biting his lip, he gently brushed some of the gravel off. Slowly, he reached his right arm into his pocket to confirm what he had suspected- his wallet, lighter, and last pack of cigarettes were gone. His back pack had also been taken, so no change of clothes now either. Looking around he found something else had been taken- his trusty bike. Great.  
  
Now for the true test- standing. Slowly, he forced his legs to straighten, ignoring the pain it sent through his body. Thankfully they worked. Once he was upright, he leaned heavily on the poll for support.  
  
So- inventory. Money- no. Bike- no. Clothes- no. Left arm- no. Right eye- no. Jacket- yes. Watch- yes.  
  
It was 12:20- only 10 minutes to meet Seth. Enough time to get to Mickey's- yes. Enough time to hide bruises or wait for them to heal- no. He pulled his jacket sleeve over his cut and pondered what to do about his eye.  
  
'I fell off my bike and it broke,' Ryan thought to himself. 'That takes care of my eye and the lost bike.' Taking a deep breath, he took a step away from the pay phone He stopped as dizziness made his vision blur. Determined, he took another step. He would make it Mickey's- to Seth.

* * *

Seth had no trouble finding Mickey's- considering his dad had drilled the directions into his head. Turn right. Left at second light- go straight. Seth mumbled them as he went. Finally he saw Mickey's. He walked into find a cozy diner. He sat down at a booth and told the waitress he was meeting a friends. He waited and finally at 12:45, Seth spotted a familiar short someone wearing an old jacket.  
  
Ryan didn't look his best. His gait was slow and akward. His left arm was held stiffly at his side, not swaying with the teen's movements.  
  
"Yo, Ryan! Over here," Seth called.  
  
All hope that Ryan wasn't as bad as he sounded on the phone vanished as Ryan turned. His right eye was swollen shut and his skin was a sickly pale color. His eyes seemed dull and uninterested.  
  
"Ryan, man, what happened?" Seth asked as Ryan sat down.  
  
"Fell off my bike," Ryan answered. "It got busted- can't use it anymore." Seth chose not to say anything but he didn't believe Ryan's story one bit. With some mental debate, he decided not to push Ryan into coming home right away. So, trying to appear casual, he became talking about his latest updates with Summer. He pretended to be carefree and unconcered about Ryan- but in truth he noticed everything.  
  
Seth was very used to people ignoring him, to being left somewhere at some big party to defend and entertain himself. It had gotten him very used to having to pick things up by himself. It had actually made him a great listener when he wanted to be. Also, he noticed very small things.  
  
He noticed how Ryan only ordered two scrambled eggs and a water. He noticed how Ryan's hand were shaking slightly. He noticed how Ryan seemed to be more careful about his sitting position. He noticed how he flinched ever so slightly when he chest hit the table as he was sliding in. But most of all, he noticed Ryan's eyes. How they darted every so often to the bathroom and refused to meet Seth's own.

* * *

Ryan gulped as he forced down another bite of egg. He had been so hungry before it some- but now just looking at it was making him want to barf. Seth's hamburger across the table wasn't helping either.  
  
Ryan reached for the salt, hoping to buy himself time before he had to swallow another bite. But, he was concentrating so hard on not throwing up, he failed to notice Seth's glass of soda by his elbow.  
  
Before he knew it, Ryan's left arm had knocked over the cup. And Seth, wanting to help had grabbed it. Ryan couldn't help it- he let out a small hiss of pain. Seth's grip wasn't overly strong but his hand seemed to be digging the remaining piece of gravel deeper into the cut.  
  
Ryan saw Seth's eyes light with a mixture of dismay and curiosity. Ryan tried to pull his arm back, but Seth gripped it harder, causing Ryan to flinch again. Slowly, Seth brought around his other hand and began rolled up Ryan's jacket sleeve. Ryan gave one last feeble attempt before letting his arm go limp and looking down.  
  
"Ryan!" Seth exclaimed once he got a good look at what Ryan was hiding. "What's this?"  
  
"Noth-" Ryan clamped his mouth shut. Oh God, he was going to barf, he at least had to make it to the bathroom. Shoving past Seth, he half ran to the restroom. Kneeling by a toilet, he closed his eyes as the few bites of food and water came rushing up. For a little while, he sat back, panting. Finally he forced himself to stand and walk out of the bathroom stall- only to meet an angry Seth.  
  
"That cut on your arm is no bike accident!" Seth exclaimed. He wasn't that angry- just hurt that Ryan lied to him. "And what is with the throwing up?"  
  
For a second Ryan stayed silent. He didn't want to tell Seth that he'd been beaten up and was too weak to fight back. He looked up to tell Seth it was nothing.  
  
He should've looked down. All his life when he didn't want to face something- he looked down.  
  
When his mom had yelled at him because they had no money to buy her booze- he looked down. When A.J. came home drunk, looking for someone to take his anger at a lost poker game out on- he'd looked down. When Trey claimed it was his fault his new girlfriends broke up with him- he'd looked down. When the few times he went to school and the teachers asked him why he had a black eye- he'd looked down.  
  
They saw it as submission- but that wasn't what it was. When he looked down he only saw his feet. Feet that could belong to anyone. When he was a kid, he was Superman, looking at his feet, concentrating all his energy to them so he could blast off into space. When he was a teenage he was bending down to kiss a really hot girl. When he realized most of the girls were talker than him, he was bending down to receive an award for soccer.  
  
When he looked down he could be anybody. He didn't have to be some abused piece of trash that not even his mom could learn to love. He didn't have to be Ryan Atwood.  
  
But with Seth he didn't have to. He didn't have to be a millionare who was inspected his shoes for missed spots after they were polished. He could be Ryan- who had a best friend. So he'd looked up.  
  
Big Mistake.  
  
Because when he looked up, he'd caught Seth's eye. And he saw that Seth was really feeling. The anger was just a curtain to hide the hurt and worry.  
  
Ryan's couldn't lie to Seth.  
  
"Some kids beat me up," he finally said quietly. Seth's expression softened a little.  
  
"What's with the barfing then?" he demanded.  
  
"Haven't eaten in a while," he said just as softly. Ryan rubbed his head- he hoped Seth would let him go soon- he thought he was going to faint. Boy would that be embarrassing.  
  
"Ryan you need to come back," Seth said, noticing Ryan's faint expression. Ryan blinked slowly, not comprehending.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You need to come back home- with me."  
  
"Your parents-" Ryan stopped- why was Seth turning fuzzy? "Want me back?" he finished.  
  
"Yeah man, Julie Copper was like saying stuff and then mom walked and like totally blew up at her-" Seth noticed Ryan looked close to passing out. "All of which isn't important right now. Let's get you to the car."  
  
Ryan dimly aware of Seth pulling him and sitting him in the familiar Ranger Rover.  
  
Seth walked in to pay for lunch worried about leaving Ryan in the car for too long.  
  
"Ryan- you'll come back, right?" Seth asked as he turned on the car. He wasn't really expecting an answer- but he heard a weak mumble from Ryan.  
  
"Yeah, man, anything for you."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please excuse all spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)  
  
**Author's Other Note:** There- a nice long (well long**_er_**) juicy chapter! Aren't you proud of me!  
  
Zack: no  
  
Me: you just love ruining moments don't you.  
  
Zack: Yes.  
  
Me: Stop! Anyway, I'm warning you that the next chapter is not yet written- but I shall try my best to get it up so you can read it A.S.A.P. Once again, please forgive my lateness due to the reason mentioned above.  
  
**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** No, I wish with all my heart that I owned ALL of this- but I don't... [sigh]

**Author's Note:** I AM SO SORRY!!! I know it has been a ridiculously long period of time since I updated, but I've been working on another story and then I went to CT and than CA, and then on a cruise and well, then I didn't know how to write this chapter- so once again I'm SORRY!!!! Please don't kill me!

**Chapter 6**

Both Sandy and Kirsten sat near the phone, waiting for any news from Seth. Sandy couldn't sit still any loner- he jumped up and began to pace.

So many things could've gone wrong! Seth could've have gotten lost... lost in Chino. Sandy closed his eyes against the thought. There was no way that could've happened. One- Seth had repeated the directions back to him at least twenty times. 2- he had them written down on a piece of paper. 3- he had a map. And 4- he had a cell phone.

What if something had happened to Ryan? Sandy had no clue as to where the teenager had been staying. Who knows what he has been or where he's been sleeping or anything!

Sandy looked at Kirsten. She sat by the phone, biting her lip and occasionally muttering to herself as if she could make the phone ring. Actually it already had rung twice. The first time it had been Caleb asked if she had gotten something or other done for work. The answer was a quick yes and then making sure they hadn't missed any calls in the 5 seconds they were talking. The second was Julie Cooper. She barely let Kirsten say hello before swinging into a full detailed description of the next fashion phase. Sandy could see Kirsten's shaking rage at the woman and quickly snatched the phone out of his wife's hands and hung up.

Finally the phone rang. Sandy dove for it, but Kirsten, who had been smart and didn't give into her pacing desires, got there first.

"Hey, mom," Seth said as he heard Kirsten say hello.

"Well, is he coming home?" Kirsten demanded, in no mood for small talk.

"Yes, he said he would but-"Seth hesitated.

"But what?" Kirsten asked.

"I kinda think... that maybe... well I should take him to the hospital," Seth answered slowly.

"Hospital!" Kirsten said, her voice raising. Sandy cursed silently, he wished he knew what Seth was saying! "Why would he need to go there?" Sandy got as close to the phone as he could, trying to hear Seth's answer.

"Well, he's kind of... well beat up," Seth answered.

"Who did that!" Kirsten said, even louder.

"I don't know, mom, but I think you should see him for yourself. Meet me at the hospital."

"Ok, we're coming," Kirsten said, quickly hanging up the phone.

"What's happening!?" Sandy cried.

"Ryan's beat up, Seth's taking him to the hospital, let's go," Kirsten answered, already headed toward the door. Sandy ran to get to the car and the two parents were off.

* * *

In record time they reached the hospital and ran into the emeregency room.

"I don't see them!" Kirsten whispered.

"Me neither!" Sandy said, scanning the room for two teenagers.

"Maybe they went in already," Kirsten said, stepping toward the lady at the check-in counter.

"Did a Seth and Ryan Cohen come in here?" she asked anxiously.

"Atwood," Sandy said over her shoulder.

"Atwood?" Kirsten said confused.

"Ryan," Sandy said. Oh right, Ryan's last name was Atwood.

"Yes," she said quickly.

"Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood," Sandy said.

"No, I'm sorry, perhaps they aren't here yet," the lady said politely. "You may wait on the bench, I'm sure they'll be here any second."

"Right," Kirsten said, forcing her legs to carry her to the sitting area.

"Relax, dear, he's driving from Chino," Sandy said, putting a hand on his wife's arm. "I'm sure they'll be here soon."

* * *

Seth was closer than his parents guessed, he was actually in the parking lot, trying to get Ryan to wake up.

"C'mon, man, time to get up," Seth said giving his friend a gentle shake. "We have to get you checked out." Ryan didn't stir. Seth sighed he knew he couldn't carry Ryan. What was he going to do?

'Think, Seth, you idiot,' he though to himself. 'I'm at a hospital- ton's of patients come here that can't walk. I just have to get a wheelchair! Took you long enough, Seth!'

'But what about Ryan- could Seth just leave him here alone. He's asleep he's ok by himself for a second. Well, should I lock the door? No, that would turn on the alarm and then if Ryan moved it would go off. That might wake him. Wait! Wasn't waking him what I wanted to do. No, not while I'm not here. But if I don't lock it anyone could steal it. This is a hospital- no one steals from a hospital with a sleeping teenager in the car.'

Sighing, Seth rubbed his hand against his forehead. Sometimes it gave him a headache just to listen to his own thoughts. Quickly, he spun around a walked toward the hospital, leaving the car unlocked.

Seth came running with the wheelchair back to the car. He had seen his parents inside, but didn't say hello- just nodded in greeting and left. He almost screamed when he saw Ryan wasn't in the passenger seat........................

**Author's Note:** Please excuse all spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)

**Author's Other Note:** Hey- a cliffhanger! Whoohoo me! Ummmm......... again I'm sorry I haven't updated! Then next one will hopefully be faster! Please please PLEASE review!

**REVIEW!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything......... WAAAA!!

**Author's Other Note:** Thank you everyone who reviewed! And did you guys see Ben McKenzie on Regis and Kelly- HOT HOT HOT!!! Anyway- this is kinda sooner than the last one- here goes!

**Chapter 7**

Seth took a deep breath- Remain calm.

"Ryan?" he called. Nothing. "Ryan?" a little louder this time.

A weak cough answered him. Quickly Seth looked around the car to see Ryan sitting on the pavement, leaning against the car.

"Ryan? What are you doing?"

"Seth?" Ryan said quietly, blinking up at him. "Where did you go?"

"Ryan, buddy, we're at the hospital- I went to get you a wheelchair," Seth said, pulling the black chair into view.

"Oh," Ryan said softly. "I thought- I thought," Ryan stopped, like he always did when he was uncomfortable with his own thoughts.

"Thought what, man?" Seth said, extending his arm for Ryan to pull himself up on. Ryan did so, and sat heavily in the wheelchair before quietly saying.

"I thought you had left me." Seth wanted more than anything to scoop Ryan up in a bear hug- much like a parent would do to a kid who thought he was lost. He would never tell anyone about this urge- it wouldn't be cool but......... Ryan just sounded so young right than. Usually Ryan sounded older than his age- sometimes with Seth he acted his age- but right than he sounded young- very young- like the kid he never got to be.

"Never, Ryan, I would never leave you," Seth said, but Ryan was already asleep.

* * *

Ryan was 7, in the hospital for a broken arm- his dad's work. The doctor had been really nice and even wrapped the Ryan's arm with Ryan's favorite color dark blue. Ryan had ever given him a small smile, with the doctor returned with his own big one and a lollipop. Even though he was having a pretty nice time- Ryan was ready to go home- the white was kinda scaring him and the nurses were carrying funny looking things that Ryan thought probably were used to create zombies or something.

"Can I go home now?" Ryan asked the doctor as the man washed his hands.

"Sure," the young man said. "We'll just go get your mother." Ryan smiled, his mom was sober today and acting very nice to Ryan since he was hurt enough to go to the hospital. They didn't want her to come in the small room while they bandaged him up- but she was waiting outside.

The doctor stuck his head out the door and looked mildly confused before calling to a nurse.

"Well, Ryan, she must be in the bathroom," he said a moment later. "I'm sure she'll be back in a minute."

She wasn't. She didn't come all night and when the doctor left, Ryan was left alone in a big cold white room. Ryan couldn't understand- where did she go? She was supposed to be waiting right there. Why did she leave him alone.

The next morning Trey came to pick him up. He explained to the doctor that their mom had gotten a call from her sister in Nevada that her 17 year old son was in a car accident and Dawn had left to go see her nephew. The doctor frowned before nodding that Ryan could go.

Once they were outside, Trey leaned down to Ryan with a pen in his hand.

"She and Dad are totally wasted. We better not go home. Can I sign your cast?"

* * *

Kirsten stood up as she saw Seth roll Ryan into the emergency room. Ryan was asleep and she could only she the left side of his face. Suddenly he jerked and the worried mother gasped as he saw his black eye. Sandy didn't waste time being stunned he lead Seth toward the nurse, handed her the forms he'd been filling out and gave Ryan a final pat as the doctor lead him through the big white swinging doors.

**Author's Note:** Please excuse all spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)

**Author's Other Note:** See that was pretty fast!

Zack: Yeah and really short!

AA Battery: Hey! I can't be perfect!

Zack: You could put up a better effort!

AA Battery: Stop talking- you're going to get me in trouble by the evil script format people!

Zack: Excuses......

AA Battery: Anyway people- PLEASE REVIEW!! And I'll really try to make the next one quick AND long. **REIVEW!!!** And it will happen faster!

Thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer- **I still don't own anything- but if wishes came true......

**Author's Apology- **Guys- let's face it- I SUCK AT UPDATING!!! Should I even try to defend myself...... well, look, school started and they piled on homework and then the Eagles played (AND WON!!! 31-17 TAKE THAT YOU GIANTS!!!) and IM SORRY!!!!!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Kirsten sat on the hard hospital chair, slowly rocking herself back and forth, in time with Sandy's hand rubbing her back. She didn't think she had ever been so nervous or impatient in her life. She had been nervous when Seth had fallen off his skateboard when he was 10 and broken his arm. But, he had gone in yelling about his "battle wound" was due to a bad skateboard and insisting a new one was needed to continue his career.

But Ryan- Ryan- he seemed so......... vulnerable. He was asleep when she had seem him last, his left arm clinging to his right arm and vise versa, looking wary even in sleep. He had looked terrible, his black eye showing clearly on his pale, taunt skin. His hair was dirty and grimy and goodness only knows when he had last changed his clothes.

How could she have let this happen? She had been so blinded by the fact he was a juvenile delinquent that she had failed to see the insecure, wandering child underneath the cold exterior. The young teenager who hid all his fear by acting tough, by answering in one word sentences, and seemingly did not care about anything. But he did- she knew he did. He cared about Seth enough to call him and let him know how he was doing. He cared enough about her to fight against anyone who even suggested something against her honor. And he trusted Sandy to help him when all of his "closest" friends would not. She had some how failed to see that- until now.

She wouldn't fail again. When she got him out of here she would be the best mother he could imagine. She would be the best mother, just like Seth had been the best brother and Sandy and tried to be the best father. Once she got him out of here-

Out of here- that's what she needed to do. She couldn't believe it had already been- she checked her watch- 7 minutes since they took him in there! What were they doing!? What if it was serious!? Unthinkingly, she went to bite her nails. A hand stopped her, and she turned to see Sandy's smiling face.

"No returning of bad habits," he said, smiling through his own obvious worry.

How could he joke at a time like this! But still, she found herself smiling back at him. God, he was amazing. The most amazing man she knew. God, she was lucky. Without thinking she went in for a kiss.

"Mom!" Seth protested from his chair across from theirs. "Stop! You're OLD!" Sandy sighed, rolled his eyes and pulled back.

"Seth," he said slowly in his lecturing tone. "Someday when you're married-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cohen?" a voice asked; a doctor's voice. Kirsten and Sandy stood up, all traces of previous banter gone. Seth stood up as well. "If you could please follow me- uh," the man threw a glance at Seth.

"I can come," Seth assured the doctor.

"Seth-"Sandy started, not sure if he wanted a doctor to be the one to break it if it was bad news.

"I'm coming," Seth said, staring down his father.

"Don't worry, Mr. Cohen," the doctor said smiling. "It's fairly good news."

Sandy's head snapped to the doctor, a gleam of hope rising in his eyes. "Good news?" he asked.

"If you would please come with me," the doctor said, indicating the door. All three followed. As the doctor lead them to the office, he said,

"I'm Doctor Pete Sithla, I've been taking care of-"he paused. "your son?"

"We're his legal guardians," Sandy said. Doctor Sithla nodded. He pulled a door open and all of them sat down.

"Well, Ryan's in fairly good condition," he began and all three Cohens breathed a sigh of relief. "There's no internal bleeding, and we don't believe his rib is broken, though one might be cracked. He was dehydrated- but we have an IV in that's taking care of that quite nicely,"

Sandy nodded.

"The main thing I'm worried about is Ryan's arm. There were many bits of dirt and gravel in it and since he did not clean it immediately, I'm afraid there are signs of infection. We cleaned and stitched it up, but I'm prescribing some anti-biotics just in case. Have him take them twice a day for a week and then once every week for month- these things tend to fester. Also, here's a prescription for some pain-killers, he can take these twice a day or when he needs them. He should be off them by next week."

He handed the prescriptions to Kirsten who put them in her purse.

"Also, when Ryan gets home- oh yes, he should be good to go by tomorrow morning. He shouldn't be moving to excess for at least 4 to 5 days and he should take it easy till his ribs feel better. Have him on a liquid diet- you know, soup, shakes, juice, and have him drink lots of water. After 2 days you can start him on real food again. And call us if anything happens- such as vomiting, temperature or if his arm gets hot, swollen, or any usual color."

The doctor began to stand.

"So, luckily, nothing is serious and Ryan should be moving about in no time. I'll take you to his room now."

"Thank you, Doctor," Sandy said, knees shaky with relief. Ryan was fine.

"No problem," Pete assured them.

Pete led them to a room across the hall. Suddenly he stopped and smacked his head.

"I knew I forgot something!" he said, as Kirsten looked worried. "Just to let you know, Ryan is strapped down to his bed- loosely don't worry- but he was struggling in his sleep and we didn't want him to pull out the IV or his stitches. Feel free to un-clip them whenever he wakes up."

All three Cohen's nodded and walked into Ryan's room.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)

Author's Other Note: Don't worry- more Ryan next chapter. Sorry if I got any medical stuff wrong- im not a doctor!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!

And I'm sorry again!!!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- If wishes came true……… then I would- but it's been kinda cloudy so I haven't seen any stars to wish on……… 

Author's Note- Once again- I suck- I'm REALLy gonna try to get the next one out sooner- and I thank everyone for their immense patience with me and this story. Don't worry folks lots of Ryan in this one! I'm REALLY SORRY AGAIN!!! And I would write a really long apology but I have a paper due for school that I;m supposed to be working on!!

Chapter 9

A six year old Ryan ran around the kitchen table, holding a paper airplane.

"Look, mommy!" Ryan said, proudly holding up the airplane. "Trey made it for me! For my birthday!"

"Ryan I'm trying to eat!" Dawn snapped not looking up from the magazine she was reading while she ate her cereal. Ryan let his arm drop, staring at his mother for a second. She had been mean for about 6 months now- and drinking a lot. He considered going to his room to play- like he usually did.

'She can't be mean to me today,' the little boy thought, nodding. 'It's my birthday!'

Quietly, Ryan snuck behind her and then shot up, making airplane sounds.

"Oh no, Mom!" he said, pushing the plane into her knotted hair. "You're being dive-bombed! Brrrrrr……"

"Ryan!" Dawn screeched- pushing his hand out of her hair roughly. "I told you I was eating! Now go away!"

"But, mommy," Ryan said, his bottom lip quivering. "It's my birthday!"

"Birthday!" the woman scoffed. "5 is too old for birthdays!"

"But, mom!" Ryan protested- staring at her with a wild horror. "I'm six now!"

"All the more reason for you to be too old- now GET LOST RYAN!" Dawn said, screaming now.

"But- mom- my birthday- the presents!" Ryan said, his eyes starting to fill up with tears.

"Presents!" Dawn screamed, getting out of her chair to face the boy. "Here's your present!" She slapped the boy, hard. "Now when I tell you to get out you get OUT! NOW GO!" Sobbing now, the boy ran into his room- his paper plane left forgotten on the ground.

Sandy was spacing out when Ryan began to struggle against the loose ropes and mumble something. Sandy acted quickly, placing an arm against Ryan's chest and holding the arm with the IV down.

Instantly, Ryan stopped struggled and began to curl into a ball still, muttering. Sandy placed a hand on the teenager's arm trying to soothe the obviously distressed boy.

"But it's my birthday," Ryan mumbled. Sandy froze, knowing this was something Ryan would never reveal were he awake. Ryan settled back down and Sandy sighed. He had sent Kirsten and Seth to get some food and now he sat- hoping Ryan would escape from this world of dreams soon.

Ryan, now 10, lay on his bed on his back. He was nursing a black eye and a good many bruises on his stomach. If he were younger he would be crying, but he had stopped crying after his sixth birthday. He listened to the sounds of the party going on in the other rooms of the house. His dad was having over some "business partners," for a "meeting," and very quickly alcohol was brought out and Ryan knew better than to leave his room- though he kind of had to go to the bathroom. Sighing, he got up, snuck out the window, did his thing in the bushes before climbing back in.

He stopped short as he realized his dad was standing in his room, a cigarette dangling from his mouth.

"Where'd you go," his dad asked, his voice slurred.

"Just out to the bathroom," Ryan said, trying to remain calm. Drunken dad was even worse than sober dad. "I didn't want to disturb the party."

"You were not!" his father said, taking a halting step toward him. "You were out telling the competitors now would be a good time to act!"

"Dad!" Ryan said taking a step back. "I don't know what you're talking about- what competitors- I swear I wasn't,"

"Don't lie to me, boy!" Ryan's father swung and caught him full on the face. Ryan crumpled and didn't make any move to get up, knowing this would just invite another hit. But his father reached down and grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt. Ryan struggled and tried to get away, but his father's huge size gave the old man the advantage and slowly the burning cigarette moved closer and closer to Ryan's arm. Closer……………

Ryan awoke was a snap- sweating and shaky. For a second he was confused. Where was he? Then the white walls clicked- hospital. He searched his memory and found scraps of himself coming here. But why couldn't he move?

He looked down and was horrified to see there were bright orange straps strapping him down to his bed. An IV was in his arm and his other arm was bandaged.

"Glad to see your awake!" Ryan's head snapped to Sandy. This was his worst nightmare- tied to a bed with someone who was going to beat him up any second! Sandy reached over and Ryan scooted to the far side of the bed. He breathed a silent sigh of relief as Sandy undid the straps. He quickly flicked them off the bed.

"Sorry, kiddo," Sandy said- you were kinda moving around and they needed to make sure you didn't pull out the IV- you got dehydrated. So how do you feel?"

"Good," Ryan almost whispered looking down.

"So- I'd better go tell Seth you're awake- he'd kill me if I didn't!" Sandy said, still cheerful. Then in a softer tone he added. "We'll talk later when we get home." Ryan stared, and then sighed as Sandy walked out of the room. He knew what that meant- Sandy would wait to hit him until they were out of the hospital.

Seth came bounding in; rapidly talking about something Ryan couldn't follow. Ryan knew he would stay with Seth- his best friend, his brother- no matter what else he had to endure- it's not like he wasn't used to it.

Author's Note- Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's severe case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)

Author's Other Note- Oh- I was so mean to poor old Ryan this chapter. Poor Ryan!!!! I hope the next one will be out sooner!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!

PLEASE REVIEW!!

Zack- You just said that!

AA Battery- oh- so I did……

Zack- Oh my- you're so stupid.

Joe- I thought I was

Zack- you too

AA Battery- Be nice- now we have to go! So Bye everyone and PLEASE REVIEW!!!

Zack- that's the third time!

AA Battery- o be quiet!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer-** Still don't own it……………… still wishin'

**Author's Note:** I KNOW! IM AN AWEFUL PERSON! I'm SO sorry everyone- thank you so amazingly much for sticking with me on this!

**Chapter 10**

Kirsten watched as Sandy let himself out of the room. She heard a few words of Seth and then decided that once she talked to Sandy she would save Ryan from becoming deaf. But as Sandy walked over to her- she noticed he was looking a little rattled.

"What's wrong, honey?" she said, putting an arm on his shoulder. "Ryan's fine, right? Nothing is wrong- he's still fine. There weren't any complications were there?"

"No, sweetie," Sandy said. "It's fine."

"Then why the look?"

"It's just," Sandy stopped. "he was talking in his sleep…… about stuff I don't think he would want us to know." Kirsten frowned- knowing what Sandy implied. She thought about it for a moment.

"Well, then I don't want to know," she said finally. "I'll wait for him to tell me." Sandy smiled.

"My thoughts exactly."

* * *

Seth's chatter has slowed slightly as he ran out of things to say. The truth is, aside from the pointless matters, he didn't know what to say. He had said, "I'm glad your okay," about 12 times, "We'll get you outta here in no time," 7 times and "It'll all be cool," 4 times. He knew he was avoiding the main issues- was Ryan really coming back? But somehow asking someone lying down, pale, with stitches in his arm in a hospital bed whether or not they were coming back to the place they ran away from didn't seem appropriate.

He tried not to act like he was worried at all. But, in the middle of one of Seth's Summer stories, Ryan slide his foot over and kicked Seth's knee.

"I'm coming back, okay?" Seth stared.

"How did you-" Ryan stopped him, smiling ever so slightly.

"You had told that story 2 times already."

* * *

Kirsten walked in the room; to find Seth stammering about how there was no way he could've told that story two times. Ryan noticed her first and Seth saw Ryan looking at her and saw her as well.

"Well, if you're here to take care of Ryan, I'm gonna get some food." Seth waved and walked out of the room.

Kirsten went to sit next to his bed, and pretended not to notice when Ryan inched away from her. Instead, she gently put her hand on him arm.

"Hey, Ryan, how you doing," she asked quietly. His eyes glanced down to her hand, flicked up to her face, before coming to a halt staring at his toes.

"Fine," he said quietly. Kirsten stopped herself from sighing. She had been hoping for a little more information than that. But she wasn't sure how far she could push him. She was ashamed to admit it, but she didn't know Ryan at all. At her house they had been polite to each other- nothing more. What was she supposed to say know?

She didn't want to touch on any bigger issues. She wanted Sandy to be with her when they tackled that- but what small talk was there to give?

"Don't worry, we'll get you out of here soon." Ryan nodded.

Kirsten bit her lip. Outside, she had promised to become the mother Ryan had never had- she was going to try and start over. But how? It was her fault he was here at all. Sure she'd gotten him out of jail, but she refused to let him stay at her house. How was she supposed to start over with him when she had already done so much damage?

'Well, you won't get anything done if you don't try,' a part of her said. So she took a deep breath and went for it.

"Ryan, I'm really sorry," his eyes flicked to her face, but she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "I should have let you stay from the start." She gave a nervous chuckle. "For once I should've listened to Seth. I really hope you can forgive me." With that, she patted his arm, and, not wanting to force him to say anything without meaning it, she left the room.

* * *

Ryan stared as Kirsten left, more confused then ever. She had seemed sincere. But, then so had his mom at public places. She couldn't really mean it- could she? He had tried to read her, but what he got was too absurd to be true. She couldn't really mean it.

She was rich- she was probably used to putting on acts for people. Heck, he'd seen her do it at his very first night. She didn't want to go to the fashion show, but he'd watched as she quickly became the dazzling super- Newport woman in an instant.

He glanced toward his arm, where she had been holding it. There had been no warning pinch not to talk. The pat when she left was just that- a pat. No harder than what he imagined a pat would feel like. His mom had always given him a warning pinch and his dad was a fan of the "fatherly pat."

Suddenly he found his eyes slipping closed. He was too tired to think about that now. Besides he was probably just imagining things- no one really cared about him.

**Author's Note:** Please excuse any spelling errors due to author's sever case of S.S. (Spelling Stupidity)

**Author's other Note**:I AM SO SORRY! PLEASE REVIEW!

I am hoping to get the next chapter up soon- because I have that one all planned out- this one was just kind of one so we know where everyone stands.

**Please review! I love reading them!**


End file.
